Why I have not posted in a while (and why you need to slow down too)

"The Action of New York City" by Trey Ratcliff

Here in the US, life seems to move at a million miles per hour (and for those outside the US, let's just say that's pretty darn fast).

As Americans, we highly value our time (after all, time is money) and as every second that goes by, we will never have the chance to use it again.

Life screams at us to move faster, live longer, and become better in every way possible. 

- Fast food was "invented" so that we could spend more time doing other things than eating and cooking.
- Energy drinks (including caffeinated beverages) allow us to relinquish more hours everyday. 

- To feel more productive, we carry our smartphone, tablet, and laptop with us (all with 20 applications and programs running simultaneously).

Forget about the damage it may do to our body (physically, emotionally, or spiritually). Heck, I can lose weight without hitting the gym (there's a reason my post "Lose 30 pounds in a week" was popular, even though it wasn't referring to body weight loss), go to a therapist, and do a 5-minute devotion (not an affiliate link as I hope you don't buy this book) to cover your spiritual "needs."

---

As a reflective person, I often question why I do what I do and when I came across this TED talk about the necessity of slowing down, I realized that I need to slow down re-evaluate what I'm doing and why.

It can be easy to get some entrenched and involved with what we are doing that we never realize our efforts could be better placed somewhere else.

Among other things, I've decided to finally go ahead and pay for my own, personal, self-hosted blog. Not only do I hope it will make things easier for you to navigate through my blog, I also hope that will be easier for me as well perhaps make a few dollar doing this (hey, not everything needs to be purely altruistic).

Check it out and leave a comment at http://jasonquey.com

I love, therefore we are

"Healing love" by "infinityofideas"

"If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:2

Have you ever heard of someone who has mentioned that their faith was strong enough to move mountains? 

Or perhaps you have heard it in the context of encouraging others, “You need to have the faith of a mustard seed so that you can move mountains and nothing will be impossible for you!”

The verse that is often referred to here is Matthew 17:20: 

“And He said to them, "Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.”

Ah, it sounds like a verse ready to be ripped out of context and haphazardly applied to whatever they want it to mean! As this verse will give us some idea of what Paul is referring to in 1 Corinthians, let’s delve into this passage.

First, as all good interpreters know, we must examine the context. Even if we were to study Shakespeare, it is required of us to understand the context of a quote in order to understand what is being communicated.

Peter, James, John, and Jesus just came down from “the mount of transfiguration” (Matthew 17:1-8; cf. Mark 9:2-8; Luke 9:28-36) and as they did so, they saw that the other disciples could not cast out a demon in this man’s son (Matt. 17:16). 

After casting out the demon, Jesus chastises his disciples as to why they could not cast out the demon (Matt. 17:20). Their faith was small and weak, but gives the encouragement that even if their faith was the size of the smallest of the seeds, the mustard seed (cf. Matt. 13:31-32), they would have the ability to move mountains.

Notice a few things mentioned (as well as not mentioned) here:

1. Neither God nor Jesus ever rearranged the topography of the land by supernatural intervention (aside from the natural effects of a supernatural worldwide flood). Conversely, a miracle is not necessary to move literal mountains, merely just using the right equipment.

2. While we must interpret the Bible literally, that does not mean we do not allow for the metaphors, similies, hyperboles (etc.) of our language. Thus it would be natural to see how this statement of moving mountains would refer to conquering difficult tasks (in this instance, casting out a demon).

3. R.T. France notes that it is not the amount of our faith (or even our faith in faith) that makes the impossible possible, but the power of God, which is available to the believers with even a mustard grain sized faith.

Nevertheless, the premise here is clear: 

“Much is not accomplished for the kingdom because we simply do not believe God will adequately empower us or else because we undertake various activities in our own strength rather than God’s. Yet we must recognize the limitations of this promise, in light of other Scriptures, and not use it to foist a guilt trip on ourselves or others when faith does not eliminate every calamity from our lives.” (Blomberg, 268).

Back to Paul’s statement - Even if Paul was given the knowledge of everything and all mysteries (which we know from Romans 11:33-35 not to be the case) and has the strongest of faith to do the impossible, that is, to move mountains, yet it is done without love, he states he is nothing.

Wow.

I wonder if we even can comprehend the magnitude of the statement Paul just made?

Remember that the Greeks prized knowledge and wisdom. Yet without agape love, without the wisdom of the cross, and to give love to others, we are nothing.

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Rene’ Descartes stated: “I think, therefore I am” (Plato called this the “knowledge of knowledge”).

Augustine of Hippo, 1200 years earlier, stated: “If I am mistaken, I am” ("One cannot err who is not alive").

Paul, even another 300 years prior to Augustine, stated it entirely differently: “I love, therefore we are.”

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Craig Blomberg, vol. 22, Matthew, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1992), 268.

Are the words you speaking creating raucous?

"Eugene Broke the Gong" by Ross Mayfield

1 Corinthians 13:1 “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.”

Paul begins 1 Corinthians 13 by briefly examining three of the spiritual gifts: tongues, knowledge, and prophecy. He points out with each of them that without agape love, they are pointless.

What is interesting to note here is that while Paul initially put the gifts of tongues last in the list in chapter 12 (1 Corinthians 12:10, 30), here Paul puts it first, which was a way to demonstrate its importance.

It is as if Paul was briefly giving those in the Corinthian church that sought the ability to speak in tongues the spotlight before pointing out what was wrong with what they were doing: if their gift was not used in love for fellow believers, it was pointless.

Paul's correction, done in love

Notice, too, that Paul shifts from 2^nd person (you) in chapter 12 to 1^st person (I) in chapter 13. When we use the term “you,” it often can be very direct and accusative (why didn’t you clean your bedroom; why did you fail to complete the project). Instead, Paul even wants to show his agape love for the Corinthians in his letter simply by changing the focus.

Whether the next two verses are more of a hypothetical “I” or truly himself, we know that Paul is sharing from his own experience here with his commonality among the Corinthians, as he too has the gift of tongues (1 Cor. 14:18).

Although I believe there is a time and place that believers should be an objective outsider to lovingly correct someone in their waywardness, there is a lot more respect and love demonstrated when correction is given in empathy.

And from other passages, I know that Paul is still emphasizing his constant love for the Corinthians, even as he corrects them here (1 Cor 16:24; 2 Cor 2:4; 2 Cor 11:11; 2 Cor 12:15).

Is our focus on others or ourselves?

While there is some debate among scholars as to what the last half should be translated to in English, I believe the underlying idea is still the same: if the words spoken are done not out of love, it is like a raucous sound that no one enjoys hearing.

The Corinthian church spoke in tongues, not to edify and build up fellow believers (1 Cor 12:7; 1 Cor 14:12), but to glorify and build up their pride in themselves.

David Garland sums up this verse well: “Paul’s strategy is to place in center stage the gift that the Corinthians prized the most and that was causing the greatest disruption in their assembly and then to bring it down several notches by showing its emptiness without love. It becomes a hollow performance that falls flat.”

What are some ways God would have you apply this verse in your interactions with others? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

Note - Much of this text came from the influence of this book: David E. Garland, 1 Corinthians, Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2003), 611.

A perfect picture of love

"Endless love" by Ali Nishan

One of the less well-known but still fairly commonly read chapters of the Bible is 1 Corinthians 13, also known as "the love chapter."

Prior to this passage, Paul began to mention the spiritual gifts in chapter 12 that believers receive when they become a believer (perhaps another series for another time). 

It almost seems to interrupt Paul's logic, especially in light of the fact that he resumes his topic of spiritual gifts in chapter 14.

The logic of Paul's amplification by apparent digression

There is a key point Paul is trying to make: while this illustrates the purpose of love, as I examined a bit in my last post, he makes a clear statement that the gifts of 

the Holy Spirit are to be used in love for one another.

Thus the question is not "Which of the gifts is the most beneficial, spiritual, or 'godly'?" but "Am I using the spiritual gift(s) that I have been given in love to build up the body of Christ?"

Swedish theologian Krister Stendahl put it this way, "Love means concern for the community and is the check on the exercise of the gifts for personal gratification or the gratification of some rather than all." In other words, while it is beneficial to use one's spiritual gifts for oneself or for a few, ultimately love should be displayed in the concern of the community as a whole.

Why agape love can only fully be demonstrated by Christians

I previously stated how the fruit of the Spirit cannot be fully demonstrated by unbelievers. In a small sense, agape love can be, such as when a parent can demonstrate unconditional love to a child. 

However, though not mentioned here, the centrality of Paul's definition of agape stems from God's love for the world through Jesus's death on the cross. Though agape love can be seen in part by what we do, it is seen perfectly by Jesus's sacrifice to die for the penalty for every wrong we have done (Romans 6:23).

This is seen in multiple passages such as Romans 5:8, Romans 8:37, Galatians 2:20, Ephesians 5:2, and most famously, John 3:16.

What's more fascinating about God's agape love, is that even after multiple instances of rejection throughout the Bible, God still faithfully pursued his disobedient and flagrant people - the children of Israel (clearly and probably most famously portrayed in the book of Hosea). And yet God still has a plan for the nation of Israel (see Romans 9-11).

And repeated many times throughout Scripture, it is God who chose to faithfully pursue any Christian - which was done before the foundation of the earth; before we did anything good or evil (Eph 1:4).

David Garland says this well, "Far from being a displaced hymn singing the praise of love as a virtue, chapter 13 is a call to a way of life that addresses real problems in the church... Paul reminds the Corinthians that love, not spiritual gifts, is the marrow of their Christian existence."

So as I continue to write about the different aspects of love found in this chapter, keep in mind of the sacrificial nature of love and its nature.

What is love? (Baby don't hurt me)

"I'll Give You All I Can" by Brandon Warren

The first aspect of the fruit of the Spirit is love. Like many of our English words, it often can get misconstrued as love has a wide range of meanings within this one word.

In fact, while I'm writing this, I'm listening to Basshunter's song "Now You're Gone" where he states:

"Now you're gone, I realize my love for you was strong//And I miss you here now you're gone//

I keep waiting by the phone//With your pictures hanging by the wall."

Here we have the sappy lyrics of a guy hopelessly obsessed about his infatuation towards a gal named Anna. 

This kind of love is quite different than the love described here. 

How so? And what differs from each of these types of love?

First, there is what the Greeks called eros love; passionate love which desires the other for itself. What the Greeks sought was intoxication and this became their religion. 

Eros love was what compelled them to fertility rites and prostitution in the temples of the goddesses. In case you could not tell, this is where we get our word "erotic" from. Plato considered eros to be an ecstasy which transports man beyond rationality (Phaedrus 237ff, 242ff).

Then comes philia love, the love of friends for friends. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle.

It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community. Aristotled said that philia is "the love between lifelong friends, cities with one another, political or business contacts, fellow-voyagers and fellow-soldiers, members of the same religious society, those of the same tribe, or a cobbler and the person who buys from him." 

All of these different relationships involve getting on well with someone, though Aristotle at times implies that something more like actual liking is required. Aristotle also stated that this was a mutual liking between the two parties, thus it excludes relationships with inanimate objects, though would include the love towards a pet.

Storge love is not often used in ancient Greek texts, but was often used to describe love between family members. It is described as a natural affection that we have, born out of a commitment for one another.

While in many ways it is similar to philia, storge does not necessarily have to have a strong connection to the other person aside from societal expectations. In other words, if the person was not your family member, you may never associate with them or think about them, and even if you do not, that does not mean you are not aware of your connection to them (hence why there are so many dynamics that go on in a wedding or other family reunion). 

Conversely, philia without storge love would be like a great friend that you pick up your conversation with them the next time you see them, but may not keep in touch with in the between time, say like a college buddy (simply saying "Happy Birthday" on Facebook does not count as keeping in touch).

It may be used as a general term to describe the love between exceptional friends, and the desire for them to care compassionately for one another through the different trials of life. Another interpretation is for storge to be used to describe a sexual relationship between two people that gradually grew out of a friendship in which they often cannot pinpoint the moment that friendship turned to love.

But the use here, and often throughout the entire New Testament, is the word agape. It often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by eros. While eros seeks satisfaction wherever it can, agape love is a free and decisive act determined by its subject to continuously seek the best for its recipient no matter what. It is a giving love on the behalf of the other.

Unlike philia, it is an unconditional and sacrificial love that only demands one party to show love even if not reciprocated by the other person. 

And while there is a sense of lasting commitment that comes from storge, agape love is a love that is a willing choice to love, no matter what the end result is (and is demonstrated as a greater love when it isn't reciprocated). Storge love is a commitment that comes from the result of a lasting relationship. Again, storge has a sense of love between two people, whereas agape requires the love to go one direction.

How does this love look in practical experience? And how does this agape love from the Holy Spirit differ from the agape love that a parent can have for its child? Those questions will be answered as we continue to look at the attribute of love in the days to follow.

What are some ways you have seen agape love demonstrated by others or yourself? Who can you display agape love to in the next week and how will that be demonstrated? 

I'd be interested to hear your stories in the comments below.

8 signs of true belief in the life of a Christian

"Today menu: Colorful fruit" [sic] by "Paco CT"

Have you ever wondered how you can tell if someone is a Christian or not? According to a Gallup poll, 92% of Americans surveyed believe in God. And yet just from personal experience, I can say with confidence that 92% do not have true saving belief in God.

Now before you rip Matthew 7:1 out of context and say that I should not judge them (this article addresses that verse), realize that 1) James states that even the demons believe in God (James 2:19) and 2) Scripture gives us a lot of indicators how we can know if someone is a Christian or not.

To be clear, it isn't always going to be cut and dry. Some Christians are hypocrites and with that, there are many instances in Scripture that make it clear that not everyone who claims to be a believer is in fact going to heaven (Matthew 7:21-23 I'd say being the most direct).

So how will we know who are true believers? Matthew 7:16 states we will know them [false prophets] by their fruit. Galatians 5:19-21 states the deeds that we do in the flesh: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these.

Conversely, Galatians 5:22-23 states the fruit that comes from the Holy Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And with that, I want to begin to examine these eight different signs of true belief in the life of the believer in the weeks to come. There are many more things that should be considered too, and perhaps I will go to those after finishing this series.

If you ever wanted to know what a Christian's life is supposed to look like, you should find it here in these verses. People say that they don't want to be a Christian because of all of the hypocrisy. I challenge you to read the blogs in the next few weeks and regardless of what others do, you must decide for yourself how you want to live your life. Yes, there in a small sense these can be portrayed by those who aren't Christians, but in the fullest sense, they can only be done in the life of the believer.

If you are a Christian, you should examine yourself in light of these eight qualities and ask yourself how you can work on these more to be more Christ-like (after all, the name Christian means a follower of Christ, so we should strive to be more like him). I hope that through these articles, you will be able to see areas where you can better improve in these eight areas.

Should a Christian be a Republican or Democrat?

Republican Elephant and Democrat Donkey by Donkey Hotey

Let me first start off by pointing out the elephant in the room (unintentional pun there) -  the media and our American society often stereotype Christians as synonymous with being Republican (and while we are at it, it also held that all Republicans are fans of Fox News, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh).

As a general rule-of-thumb, Republicans prefer small government and capitalistic society. 

Some of them will argue that as governments get bigger and more powerful, personal freedom decreases, and if left unchecked, government will bloat itself into a controlling, authoritarian, and oppressive dictatorship

On the other side of the coin, Democrats tend to prefer more government involvement, especially in providing social services, caring for the poor, sick, orphans, widows, unemployed, etc. and Christian Democrats point to Scriptures such as James 1:27 as the necessity in taking care of them.

However we may argue, the Bible does not explicitly endorse any economic system; God has given governments the freedom to have as much authority as is needed to fulfill their God-given roles of enforcing justice and building order in society. And whatever government we are under, we are told to submit to the governing authorities (Romans 13:1-7).

There are issues the Bible does say we as Christians should be opposed to: greed (Luke 12:15; Matthew 6:19, 24; 1 Timothy 6:9-10; Ephesians 5:5; Hebrews 13:5), abortion (Genesis 9:6; Exodus 21:22-25; Psalm 139:13-16; Jeremiah 1:5), neglecting the poor (Proverbs 11:4;17:5; 19:17; 21:3; 22:2, 9, 16, 22-23; 28:8; 29:7; 31:8-9; Ezekiel 16:49; 1 John 3:17-18) and homosexual activity (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9); just to name a few issues that come from both parties.

Although it was somewhat short lived, at one point I had a desire to continue studying great political figures of old after doing a blog series on Ben Franklin and his 13 virtues. As I began to study George Washington, it surprised me when I came across his thoughts about the political systems: 

"The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge natural to party dissention, which in different ages & countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism. 

But this leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism. The disorders & miseries, which result, gradually incline the minds of men to seek security & repose in the absolute power of an Individual: and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of Public Liberty."

It may be surprising for some of you to find out that there are in fact more than just these two (or three) political parties; there are five major parties, 33 minor parties; which is determined by their presence among the 50 states. You may also find it interesting who you'd vote for if it was more about the issues than the charisma of the leaders (http://www.isidewith.com). 

VoteSmart likewise has a great tool for finding out how you align with each Presidential nominee (and other state officials), and even adds another interesting issue: How well do the candidates stand on their political issues? It's not uncommon for the politicians to dance around how they'd vote so as not to be attacked on political ads and the like.

But as great an ideal as that is, truth be told it may take several years before another party makes good headway in the political system. Perhaps the closest thing to a viable third party in my lifetime has been the Tea Party, which has been more of a movement than anything else (and with all but two elected Tea Party politicians being Republicans, most just see them as another form of the Republican party). As such, most people feel that a vote for their true candidate would equivocate to not voting at all.

When it comes time to voting for the next President, there is a lot to weigh through. As a Christian who takes the Word of God literally, I don't believe either Romney or Obama are Christians from the fruit that they have shown (as much as they both may want you to believe they are). However, I pray that they will lead our country as God would want them to (1 Timothy 2:1-2) and that they would profess Jesus to be their Lord and Savior.

What issues will motivate you to vote for a certain Presidential nominee? Do you believe that our system will ever have a viable third party? How do you think that can be accomplished? Let me hear your thoughts in the comments below.

How a Christian should view politics

One Nation Under God! by Debbie Boyett

If there was a topic instantly sparked a debate (if not an argument) faster than discussing religion, it would be politics. 

Some say the two don't (or should not) mix, but is it possible to have political views aside from our biblical beliefs? Are any of the issues really backed by a biblical perspective outside of the social and moral issues?

Whether the "unreligious," agnostic, atheist, or anti-theist likes it or not (or any other group for that matter), it is impossible to separate politics and religion.

From a logical perspective, how is it possible to not allow someone's perspective about life, death, wealth, the poor, the environment, government influence, education, and other issues to determine their voting habits? And yet those are the exact issues that are addressed in practically all religions.

Taking it from a biblical perspective, Christianity should permeate every aspect of your life. Verses like Colossians 3:17 or 1 Corinthians 10:31 point out how everything should be done for God's glory. 

2 Timothy 3:16-17 demonstrates how the Word of God prepares us for every good work by teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training us in righteousness.

To the second question, it may surprise you that all issues are biblical issues. As you can see above, it has already been established that the Bible affects all areas of our lives. 

How does the Bible relate to issues that are normally seen as a-biblical (that is, not addressed in the Bible); such as taxes, education, or government influence?

A lot of it has to do with the underlying reason for what someone desires. Some desire lower taxes as they are greedy and want more wealth for themselves (to be clear, this is not always the case). 

Others want to raise taxes because they believe the wealthy got lucky and should spread the wealth; perhaps a systemic problem of laziness.

I believe that neither of these positions are contradicting Scripture and other than that we are to pay the taxes that are owed to the government (Matthew 22:15-21), I cannot think of any directly overt biblical justification for either position (that is not to say that I can remove my own beliefs when voting though).

Have you considered how your morals, values, and beliefs change how you vote? Do you disagree with the author and believe there is a way to segment one's spiritual beliefs from political beliefs? Share your thoughts on the article in the comments below.

Does God expect Christians to vote?

Vote! by Ho John Lee

We live in a very unique society - one that not only allows us certain rights and freedom, but even allows us to promote leaders to support those rights and freedom (which, by the way, are both very loose terms). 

With the presidential election coming up, I felt like a mini political series would help you better understand a Christian perspective on voting.

Today I'll be discussing whether or not Christians should vote. In the next two articles, I'll also discuss how Christians should view politics and whether we should vote Republican or Democrat (and by the way, it isn't as clear cut as stereotypes lead us to believe...i.e. we should not always vote Republican).

As the political season ramps up, I try to keep myself at least somewhat informed about the issues. Though it may come to a surprise for some of you, I actually do not like to debate much in regard to politics; not because people are irrational and unpersuaded (which we as humans usually are for any topic), but simply because we have people in prominent positions that most don't seem to want to vote for.

So, should people not vote because the leaders aren't worthy of our vote? Is our vote even significant?

To be clear, this topic is going to have some disagreement as there is no direct command in Scripture (i.e. "Thou must vote when able"). But, what we can do is look at what the Bible does clearly state to build a case one way or another.

It is a given that God is sovereign over the events that happen and is in control of the leader's decisions (Proverbs 21:1), however that does not mean that we are not responsible for those decisions and that God will not allow us to suffer because of the choices we make.

In Hosea 8:4, the verse indicates that God was displeased with how some leaders were chosen; and because of godless leadership, there is suffering on this earth (Proverbs 28:12). Along with that, we should vote for candidates or proposals that do not violate the Bible’s commands for life, family, marriage, or faith as they cause issues for everyone (Proverbs 14:34).

It is also stated that Christians are to obey the governing authorities, unless they directly go against the Lord's commands (Romans 13:1-7; 1 Peter 2:13-17; cf. Acts 5:27-29). It is easier for us to be willing to follow the Lord's commands if we have a leader who is doing as what the Bible instructs. Therefore, it is wise to chose a leader who is led by God's decrees (1 Samuel 12:13-25).

Whatever the outcome for who the next President is and whether you decide to vote or not, it is clear that we should pray for the leaders in authority. 

1 Timothy 2:1-4 states, "First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth."

What do you think? Is it our duty to vote? Is this a Biblical mandate? Let me hear your thoughts in the comment box below.

Taking a serious look at sarcasm

Sarcasm society by "Abraxas3d"

If you've been reading my blogs for a while (or know me in person), I'm sure you are well aware that sarcasm is a big part with how I communicate. I enjoy the humor of sarcasm and the subtle complexities that often comes with it.

But I've begun to realize that sometimes sarcasm comes with a price that I don't always account for:

• Sarcasm puts myself above the other person. Whether my comments are true or not, and whether they took my words seriously or not, I noticed that I began to subtly cut them down with the insults that I made towards those people. 
  Likewise, I wrongfully elevate myself above them as people laughed at the joke at that person's expense.
  
• Sarcasm puts me appear untrustworthy. This is perhaps a harder one to argue for, but if I am saying critical things about someone, others will wonder what I am saying about them when they are not around.
  
• Sarcasm made me see the worst in others. I recently started memorizing 1 Peter 1. Since then, I've noticed it being quoted a lot more. Could it be that it has been stated more often since memorizing it? Sure, but it also helps that I've been focusing on that passage that I am more aware of it.
  
  The same is true with someone's name: if I were in a crowd saying a bunch of random things, you probably would not pick anything  up, however if I said your name, you could hear that clear across the room.
  
  This is because the more we do something, the more we train our brains to focus on that.
• Sarcasm can make you feel something is okay when it is not. This is the reason why most sarcastic people don't change themselves - if everyone laughs when the sarcastic comment is made, they will rarely consider the impact of what they just said.
  
  Laughter is a way to indicate our approval of something so if everyone appears to approve of something, why bother changing?

I've had to do a lot of thinking about how I approach humor and how I view others. While I don't think sarcasm in-it and of-itself is wrong, there are times when it is.

Here is a process that I've used to help correct my behavior (by the way, this process can be used for multiple things):

1. Become self-aware. I've found myself to be a very introspective person (that is, someone who does well understanding who they are in the inside). I constantly evaluate things I do and how others respond. While I try not to let the response of others cause fear to lead to inaction, I do want to be conscious of how I come across to others.
   
   If you have a hard time doing this, set aside 30 minutes away from everything of life and with a pad of paper, begin to reflect on your week and jot down notes. For those more bold, ask an honest friend to evaluate you and your behavior.
2. Assess why you are doing what you are doing. People often respond without giving much thought as to why they do it (and frankly, it's because it is easier to do so). But the moment you and I can comprehend why we say and do the things that we say and do, we can begin to understand the root issue.
   
   Am I sarcastic because I want others to laugh at my jokes? Do I have an issue of bitterness against someone? Am I needing a sense of connection, belonging, or significance with the people around me? From this position, we can then evaluate a more constructive way to meet that need.
3. Draw a line in the sand. If you say you want to make a change, then you have to be willing to do it, no matter what the cost will be. Bad habits die hard, but if you can get yourself to change your behavior, it becomes a lot easier to make the right decision.
   
   And as with any habit you are trying to form, it will take time and a lot of conscious effort. It does help if you replace an old habit with a new one and to have people supporting you along the way.
4. Change your perspective of yourself. This goes with the third point I made above: the more we believe ourselves to be a certain way, the more we behave in that particular manner.
   
   So, if you want to change the kind of humor you use, perhaps you can see yourself as someone who is easygoing and make humorous statements about errors you make, as they are not a big deal after all.
5. Find others to point out your progress. Nothing is more encouraging to me than when someone says, "Hey, I've noticed you have really changed (in this manner)." We appreciate it when someone goes out of their way to tell us when things are going well.
   
   Find people and surround yourself with these kind of people and it will become that much easier to make a change. (By the way, it's a good idea to do the same for them too and they are more likely to reciprocate the feeling).

3 Reasons why you should delete your Pinterest account

Pinterest Logo by Esther Vargas

My older brother passed along to me a recent viral article about a lawyer who deleted her Pinterest account out of fear.

So, without further ado, here are three reasons you should consider deleting your account:

1. You are almost certainly pinning/re-pinning photos illegally.

2. You could get sued for doing so.

3. You will have to cover not only your own lawyer/court fees, but also Pinterest's fees too.

(By the way, I've been tempted many times when I write something controversial like this to just stop at this point without any explanation, but I'll go on).

Personally, I was using Pinterest as a great way to promote my blog, my eBay store, and to test run some ideas for if/when I had my own eCommerce website.

But as any half-way decent social media marketer knows, it's not polite to simply go on a site as a seller and never a consumer, so I began to pin, like, comment, and re-pin on other people's boards and photos. And like most naive Pinterest users, I was blindly unaware of the potential illegal havoc I was causing.

...Then I read the above article.

First the lawyer discovered a caveat in Pinterest's Terms and Use section: "Pinterest's members are solely responsible for what they pin and repin. They must have explicit permission from the owner to post everything." Okay, that makes sense, but has anyone ever thought of doing this or the ramifications of not doing this?

The articles goes on: "YOU ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE THAT, TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, THE ENTIRE RISK ARISING OUT OF YOUR ACCESS TO AND USE OF THE SITE, APPLICATION, SERVICES AND SITE CONTENT REMAINS WITH YOU." (Sorry for the all capitals, that is how it was written).

Well, I guess when Pinterest goes down in flames, everyone else will burn with them.

Finally, in case all of that wasn't bad enough, "You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold Cold Brew Labs, its officers, directors, employees and agents, harmless from and against any claims, liabilities, damages, losses, and expenses, including, without limitation, reasonable legal and accounting fees, arising out of or in any way connected with (i) your access to or use of the Site, Application, Services or Site Content, (ii) your Member Content, or (iii) your violation of these Terms.”

So, not only are you responsible for what happens, you get the privilege of paying for Pinterest's precinct procurator (aka their lawyer).

...Then I realized I'd rather not have to pay several thousands of dollars if and when Pinterest goes down in flames.

Honestly, having to check every single photo is a pain in the rear and it's only going to be a matter of time before someone gets peeved about their photo being pinned on Pinterest.

Does that mean you shouldn't have a Pinterest board? Well, if you are willing to run that risk, that is up to you. The lawyer did liken Pinterest to Napster and pointed out how even 12 year old girls who downloaded the music got sued too.

(The ironic bit is that I plan on pinning this onto Pinterest for a few days before deleting the account).

Should you buy on Craigslist or eBay?

On Monday I wrote about what some of the differences are between eBay and Craigslist. Wednesday I made a list of things to consider when selling between eBay and Craigslist. Today I'll be sharing why you would choose to buy on one website over the other.

Why you might choose to buy on Craigslist:
- You know how to find great deals on Craigslist
- You want to inspect goods before you pay for them 
- You don’t want to wait (or have the time) for items to be shipped
- You want to buy anonymously
- You enjoy the negotiating process
- You find eBay to be too complex 
- You like the classified ads style of commerce 
- You already regularly use Craigslist for other things (like the online discussions about haiku)

Why you might choose to buy on eBay:
- You prefer browsing a larger selection of items
- You are looking for a hard to find item
- You want the protection if your item ends up being poor quality
- You can think of ways people mistype their item (FatFingers helps too)
- You know how to negotiate with eBay sellers (by the way, everyone has their price, and be reasonable with how you negotiate).
- You enjoy browsing through pictures
- You already use eBay to sell and want to increase your feedback score

What are some reasons why you like eBay?

Should you sell on Craigslist or eBay?

On Monday I wrote about what some of the differences are between eBay and Craigslist. Today I'll be sharing why you would choose to sell on one website over the other. By the way, the things in parenthesis are not necessarily true.

Why you would want to sell on Craigslist over eBay:
- You want to sell something that eBay or the postal carrier forbids (probably because it's illegal)
- You plan on selling a large object which would be a pain to ship across the country or overseas (It's hard to keep kids quiet for over an hour)
- You want to keep all the money (you greedy mongrel)
- You want to sell anonymously (supposedly keeps the government from knowing all your activities...as if they have nothing better to do than to snoop around to see what you are doing).
- You want the ability to decide on who to sell to yourself (gotta make sure you don't sell to a cop)
- You want an as-is sale with no risk of reversal (hopin' they don't notice that...dang it!)
- You want cash in hand immediately (they can't trace ya if you are passing cash)

Why you might want to sell on eBay over Craigslist:
- You know what the price is and don't want to negotiate further (by the way, you want to use fixed price listings)
- You don't know what the price is and expect that more people will generate a larger sale (use an auction listing)
- You have a deadline as to when you need it sold by
- You want to reach a larger audience (sometimes, it is really hard to find another person who wants to buy your ABC gum collection)
- You are looking for repeat business
- You want an escrow account to protect larger purchases

On Friday I'll give some tips as to why you might want to buy on one site other the other.

Know the difference between eBay and Craigslist

Although I primarily only sell drop-ship shoes on eBay, occasionally friends and acquaintances ask me about selling their items on eBay.

Often I'm more than willing to help them do so, however some of the time I find out that it is more beneficial for them to sell on  Craigslist rather than eBay.

Here are some key differences between the two when buying or selling:

- eBay is highly structured to include (and not include) key information about the item

- Craigslist is somewhat structured but mainly just a moderated discussion forum

- Craigslist has very few things excluded from their site

- eBay has a larger list of excluded items and has search bots to close listings that should not be allowed (and do shutdown listings without warning).

- eBay easily allows buyers to look at a seller's profile to see selling history and check out other items currently listed

- Craigslist has an implied higher level of trust as you often meet the seller face-to-face

- Craigslist is primarily targeted towards local buyers and sellers (though there are sites to search all Craigslists)

- eBay is targeted towards national and international items (which, may not always be as beneficial with greater competition and potentially higher shipping costs).

- eBay uses both an auction system (beneficial for selling items with prices that are not easily known) and a fixed price system

- Craigslist tends to involve a negotation/barter system where people post the highest amount and is negotiated lower or even to trade items

- Craigslist customers tend to pay in cash or check

- eBay customers often pay via Paypal

- eBay's listings represent a contract that is expected to be fulfilled by both the buyer and seller and thus mediates when necessary

- Craigslist listings are informal advertisements that doesn't require either parties to fulfill their contract until money is exchanged

- Craigslist does not lend itself to repeat buyers and items sold tend not to be items that are constantly sold again and again (i.e. it would be atypical to find a shoe seller on Craigslist but very common to see someone selling their old mattress)

- eBay can easily get repeat customers and works well both for the first time seller and larger sellers

- eBay collects a lot of personal information (which is highly secured)

- Craigslist is largely anonymous

- Craigslist is free

- eBay takes a cut

Wednesday I will explain why you may prefer to sell on one site over another.